For my very best friend

As you read this
I know you’ll probably start to cry.
Look around in amazement,
And yell to God “Why?!”

As you read this,
I know what’s going through your head.
But my dear sweet mother,
It’s not your fault that I am dead.

I know you tried your hardest
To always make me see
Just how much you cared,
That meant so much to me.

I know that this will hurt you
But there was no other way
To get an escape from all the abuse
That I faced day to day.

I hid my tears with make-up.
I covered up the scars.
I cried myself to sleep each night,
Staring at the stars.

I know you told me not to,
But I disobeyed you to go
To the party last month,
I hoped you wouldn’t know.

I tried to be a good girl,
I always told them “no”.
But they put things in my drink
So that I couldn’t go.

They videotaped what he did to me,
Every gruesome scene.
How could someone do that?
Mommy, how could they be so mean?

He violated my body.
He took what wasn’t his.
He said I asked for it,
That’s what he told the other kids.

I never wanted that to happen!
I felt dirty every day.
Thousands of hot showers,
And none could remove him all the way.

Everyone saw the video
They passed it around school.
Now I’ve been called a slut
And they all think he’s cool.

I just can’t take it anymore,
I hate myself everyday.
I hate him for taking
What was mine to give away.

Now I sit here alone,
Hating my own skin.
I know what I have to do.
This battle I just couldn’t win.

I’ll always love you Mommy.
I hope you remember me
By the light I used to have,
The girl I used to be.

As you read this,
I know you’ll probably start to cry,
Look around in amazement,
And yell to God “Why?!”

As you read this,
I know what’s going through your head.
He took everything from me,
And now I’m the one dead.

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